Requiem for a Laptop

Laptops suck.  Seriously, they are shit.  None of them work right, driver support is abysmal, and it seems every manufacturer is targeting the “space-conscious idiot” demographic,  who want a laptop that stays on a desk, plugged in 24/7.

I want a NERD laptop, something made entirely of awesomeness.  I want a device that enables mobile wizardry:

  • quad-core processor (Core i7 or AMD X4)
  • 8+ gb RAM
  • 15″ display at 1920 x 1080, none of that 1366 x 768 bullshit
  • dual hard drives (SSD + 7200rpm HDD)
  • basic GPU, that can handle desktop compositing (Aero Glass, KDE4)
  • 5 hour battery life for a 50% average work load
  • built to survive daily travel
  • ~ $2000 or less

Yes, 5 hour battery life, which is about 4-5 times what current laptops can swing.  Make the battery bigger, a LOT bigger.  I don’t care if it weighs ten pounds, I want it to survive an extended hacking session.  I want something I can drag to the park or pub and write code, tweak servers, fiddle with Cubase, or any other long creative activity that is enhanced by fresh air and/or alcohol.  Douchebags have SUVs, I want a sports-utility laptop!

I used to have a pretty respectable one many years ago, a Dell Inspiron 8500 I bought off BitBurn.  It was a “gaming” laptop, which meant a GeForce Go 4200 and a 3 ghz Pentium 4.  It was actually faster than my desktop PC at the time.  Battery life was about 75 minutes so I always had the power adapter and an inverter in my bag, but everything else about it was badass and the thing never crashed or overheated.  I want that awesomeness, plus a massive 24-cell battery, today.  Now tell me: why doesn’t anyone make that ?  Don’t tell me it wouldn’t sell.  People already spend more than that on dinky little MacBook Pros.

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