Where do you want to hide today ?

The Quantum Sleeper, “The safest rest you’ve ever had”.

This is one of those things only Americans would ever think of. It’s a bed built like a safe-room. This thing will keep you safe from bio-chemical terrorist attacks, natural disasters, burglars, rapists, jehova’s witnesses, intellectuals and gun fire!

Yes, when I piss the whole world off and everyone wants to kill me, I hide in bed! It’s got the usual suite of pansy gear like spy cameras, one-way mirrors, CB radio and keypad lock like in the movies. It even has a CD/DVD player, PC hookups, microwave oven and fridge, heater/AC and of course some sort of toilet. The marketing blurb says this thing can feed you fresh air for 3 days. If it weren’t marketed as a frickin’ war bunker, I’d want one just for the novelty factor of living your whole worthless life in a box. Heck I’d put one at the bottom of the ocean with a bigass internet pipe and download porn 24/7 while you fuckers on the surface watch the world die.

Cost ? Only one small payment of $160,000 US dollars! Surprisingly, that’s about the same as a small house in most parts of Canada. I wonder which one is a more effective defense against terrorist attack ?

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